You're NOT a failure as a parent!
Recently, I've seen the quote from David O. McKay, "No other success can compensate for failure in the home," making the rounds on every social media platform.
This quote really hits home (pun intended), emphasizing that our actions within our families matter more than nailing that perfect TikTok dance or getting a gazillion likes on an Instagram post.
However, post-Father's Day and Mother's Day, I’ve noticed that some parents feel real pressure from quotes like this one. Despite their best efforts, their children sometimes zig when they hoped they would zag.
I even spoke with an incredible man yesterday who has had some struggles with his children. He responded to a “Happy Father’s Day” salutation with “Right now, I will settle for ‘He Tried’ Dad”
Rather than feeling motivated, we feel discouraged and frustrated.
Here's the thing: success in parenting isn't about how your kids turn out. Some parents pour their heart and soul into raising their kids, only to watch them make choices that could star in a sitcom's “What not to do" episode.
Meanwhile, others seem to wing it and their kids turn out like they just stepped out of a Hallmark movie.
So, what exactly does define success (or failure) in the home?
After nearly 30 years of teaching, I've learned that teaching isn't about ensuring perfect outcomes but about planting seeds that might take their sweet time to sprout.
I had a teaching mentor early in my career who had the letters “TTLV” in his classroom - “Take The Long View.” Powerful words when you can’t see a lot of hope in a present situation. That crazy teenager in your class who seems like he has no interest in what you are teaching may very well turn out to be a very conscientious adult.
Just don’t give up on them.
Harold B. Lee once said, “No home is a failure as long as that home doesn’t give up.” This includes dealing with kids who seem to be auditioning for the role of “Most challenging human ever."
The late business leader and spiritual giant Clayton Christensen constantly emphasized that “the success comes in the invitation”, not in the immediate results.
God, the ultimate parent, never gives up on us – His flawed, sometimes hilariously misguided children. He handles our missteps with the kind of patience that would make Job look like an amateur.
We not here to control the outcomes of our parenting, we are here to learn how to become more like God.
So, parents, let’s take a page from the Divine playbook. Keep on loving, teaching, and inviting your kids, no matter how many times they leave their dirty socks everywhere but the laundry basket - something we are very familiar with here in the sock biz!
Maybe this persistent, unconditional love and patience are the real markers of success at home.